In Case You Missed Me... Random Thoughts

It's good to be home.... not good to be surrounded by a mess and unpacking and a gritty floor, but good to be home.

I sat around in my sweats all day. I did some cleaning, but you wouldn't know it by looking. I caught up on my blogs and emails... hello, 5 days worth of stuff! I updated my photography blog and changed the layout... go look and tell me what you think, okay? I read a little, and I took a nap. Yes, I took a nap. I figured I deserved one after getting home at 1:00 a.m. after driving through a freaking scary blizzard last night.

I really enjoyed the photography convention... I met so many great, friendly, accepting, helpful people, and learned a lot of stuff. The biggest thing I learned is how grateful I am that photography can be something I do because I love it, and not something I do because I need the money, or need to support a family. Don't get me wrong, I love making money from doing something I love, but there were a few times at the convention I wondered if this business was more than a "get them in and out as fast as you can, and get as much money as possible out of them" type of business for some of these photographers.

The New Era liked my photo, but couldn't use it because of the shorts. Aubrey and I are going to reshoot it soon with pants and send it in again.

I HAVE to start eating better. Unless it's okay to eat cake for breakfast, cookies for lunch, and caramel rolls for a snack??

I think laundry is my nemesis... there just to make my life miserable... sometimes letting me think that I'm caught up, but then throwing up all over just to remind me that it's never that easy...

Brandon is going to go to a 4 day on, 4 day off schedule at work, at least for awhile. I am so excited! This has been a long road, but I can see the prospect of having a husband and my kids having a dad again. Yay! We won't see him much on those 4 days on, but the 4 days off will make up for it. That way he can spend a whole day sleeping and we still get to see him for 3 days. (When you get 3-4 hours of sleep a night, you've got to catch up somewhere!) Plus, insurance is going to kick in the first of November. We've been without health insurance for YEARS. We have been blessed to be very healthy though... a couple of broken bones happened, and we're still paying for them, but it could've been a lot worse. (Broken bones are expensive with insurance too... we experienced that with Aubrey.)

Speaking of healthy... we've miraculously escaped the dreaded swine flu so far (knock on wood!!!) I don't know how, since the kids have been exposed at school, and Brandon has been exposed at work... it must be those super healthy meals we eat. Snort. ;)

That blizzard was awful last night... you know, the kind where you can't see the road and you just hope and pray you don't drive off of it? Awful. Thank goodness my mom was praying for me, Brandon was praying for me, and I was praying for me. I seriously considered pulling over to wait it out, but I couldn't see the road enough to know where a turnoff would be. Ah, winter... are we ready for it?

Well, enough of the chit chat. I'm going to go attempt to clean my house.

Payback

Today I was checking blogs, and started reading a post from one of my favorite friends and bloggers, Charlotte. I was reading along, thinking, wow! Neat! She got put in as 1st Counselor in the Young Women's presidency... she'll do great! She'll have fun! Then... I caught my name. This sweet, beautiful, elegant, wonderful, kind, girl wrote a post to me. Me!

She actually remembered little things from when I was her leader (in a roundabout way) and I actually made a difference in her life. Who knew?? It made me cry rivers of tears today, because there are times now as the young women president in this ward that I have serious doubts that I'm making a difference... and now I have hope that maybe, just maybe, I am. Or I will. And even if I don't, I did make a difference once.

Maybe I can take a little teeny bit of the credit for the amazing woman Charlotte has turned out to be, and that is something I can really be proud of. Charlotte, thank you... thank you for noticing, thank you for remembering, and thank you for letting me know. I know that you will make a difference in the lives of the girls you serve now, and they will make a difference in your life too... I can't even tell you how much joy it brings me to see you in the same position I was, with kids the same age, at a similar time of life, giving back. Love you!

Ah... the Beautiful Music

I heard there was a real live pianist performing in Vernal tonight, so I grabbed a date (Tyler :) and enjoyed a night of beautiful piano music. The performer was Kirill Gliadkovsky, and he was wonderful. I loved his humorous little music history lessons that he shared between pieces in his delightful Russian accent, and his playing was flawless. It was fun to watch his hands "pop" off of the piano, and his fingers float through those trills and runs like it was nothing. He played pieces by Brahms, Gershwin, Grieg, Gottschalk, and Bach. The whole thing was inspiring... it made me want to get my violin out and just play. I don't play very often for myself anymore, and I don't listen to music just to listen much anymore either. Isn't it sad? I wish there would've been more people there. It made me sad to see so many empty seats. I kept thinking what a great Friday night activity it was... great for families, great for a date, great for somewhere to go all by yourself... I'm so glad we went.

I promise I won't say the P* word

* photography

I know, I know... that P word is all I ever talk about. So, here's a whole post about other things.

Ummm... I'm thinking. There's got to be something to write about.

Huh.

Whew. Well.

Uhhhh.

I've got nothin'.

October 24th... Lindon, Utah

I will be in Lindon (near Orem) at an AWESOME location on Saturday the 24th of October for a few hours doing photo shoots... I have 3 booked already, but I could fit a couple more in if you're interested! Email me as soon as possible to reserve your spot! (bmatcsmith@gmail.com)

Update: ONE spot left... let me know if you want it! :)

No More Splinters!

We finally got the picnic table that Brandon built painted! So, all of you who have come to picnic on it and got a splinter in your bum... please come back! ;) It rained last night... right after we got it done. It doesn't look like the rain hurt the new paint job, thank goodness. When I went to inspect it this morning, I couldn't resist taking a picture of the leaves that fell on it... don't the colors go together perfectly?

I also noticed how beautiful these leaves looked with the sun coming through them. I'm so busy with photoshoots of people that I forget to get my camera out for the beauty all around me. I love fall!!

Here & There & Everywhere

Rachael... this is my friend Rachael. She's the kind of friend that you're really lucky to have, and really unlucky at the same time. See that shirt she's wearing? Used to be mine. She also has some pants that used to be mine. She looks about a bazillion times better in them than I did. I know it's hard to believe, when she's tall, thin, gorgeous, and has a model body, and I'm not tall... well, let's just stop before I cry. ;) I'll stick with my first statement. I'm lucky to have her as a friend. I'll just try not to stand too close to her very often. ;)

I've been shootin' photo sessions like a madwoman. It's still fun, I haven't started to hate it yet, so I'm going to keep on doing it until my clicking finger falls off, or nobody will let me take their picture anymore.

I'm going to a photography convention in a couple of weeks. I'm ridiculously excited. When I get passionate about something, I just can't learn enough.

Brandon's home! Gotta run! Don't forget to look at my photography blog... I just updated like crazy.

I'm Famous! Kind of...

I'm so excited!! Pioneer Woman put my photo on her website! :D

Oh What a Wonderful Day

It was! It really was! Wonderful, that is...

Brandon had the day off of work, we drove up into the mountains with Melissa, Josie, Payton, and Haylee, and I got to do a photoshoot with those three cuter than cutest kids... oh, I love them. Even Haylee, the little stinker who wouldn't look at me or take that scowl off her face. ;) (I could never be mad at that girl... she was my best birthday present ever... how many times do you get a niece for your birthday? :) We got some great shots, the scenery was gorgeous, and it was such a relaxing day. We ate hot dogs with fresh homemade salsa on them (yum... I'd never tried it before... thanks, Melissa!) and I made an apple pie. Sigh.

Oh, and Happy Birthday to my Annie Pie! :)

The Scoop on Coop

It was bound to happen... both of our other kids have broken bones, so Cooper's turn was up, I guess. The funny thing is, neither Brandon nor I have ever had a broken bone... knock on wood! (Well, I actually think Brandon broke his leg, but he wouldn't ever go in to the doctor, so I guess all's well that ends well...)

While I was gone to the Fallow Field Farm Marketplace this past weekend to do a photography booth, Cooper was playing around and fell off of Tyler's back onto his arm. It's happened a bazillion times, but I guess this time he wasn't so lucky.

Four weeks in this cast... wish us luck!

Photography blah blah blah....

I've been worried sick about getting ready for the Fallow Field Farm Marketplace that I'm doing a booth for this Saturday... I picked up the notecards with my photography on them today. They look good, but I noticed when I got home that they forgot to put my name on the back. Sigh... I'll try to find time tomorrow to go talk to the printer about that. I also got my big prints delivered today too, and I put them in the frames. I only cut 4 of my fingers with the glass. ;) They look really good... I'm telling you, when you spend $100 on prints, you sweat it a little bit. Please please please come if you can! Bring your friends! Come see me and my big beautiful prints, so I don't feel silly that nobody is stopping at my booth. ;)

I had one photoshoot on Sunday, 2 on Monday, and one tonight... it's photography week, I guess! OH! And I found out The Edge magazine will be using one of the photos of the graveyard that I took as the cover, and another for the article that I took them for. :) Maybe someday I'll actually be somebody in the photography world! (A girl can dream, can't she? ;)

Which One is Your Favorite?

I really want to know... tell me which one(s) you like best. Do you like the textures I've been playing with, or is it too much?

The Most Beautiful Girl

I got to have a photo shoot today with three gorgeous girls, and I'm lucky enough that one of them is my daughter. :) She's been crying and begging me all day to let her have a facebook, because she's in high school, and all her friends have one, and I'm mean... should I let her?

Raspberries... Delicious to Eat, Fun to Photograph

Sigh... aren't raspberries pretty? I guess these pictures would've gone best with the last post, but better late than never. :)

I've been backing up all of my photos today... wow, do I have a lot of them.

I put more raspberry photos on my photography blog. Yes, the raspberries got tired of getting their picture taken. ;)

Blessings

Today I came home from teaching at the gym to find raspberries, little tomatoes, and corn on the cob on my porch... one of my produce fairies struck again. (Thanks, Marilynn!) I can't believe how generous people have been with their delicious abundance! I also got green beans and squash from the Birds yesterday, and you all should've tasted the tomatoes I got from the Shewells and the watermelon from the Hemstreets... yes, I am blessed. I didn't even plant a garden, and we haven't wanted for anything. I have shared a lot of my fruit... which brings me to a funny and embarrassing story:

The day Brother Shewell brought me a big box of tomatoes, my darling 8 year old son decided to pick plums to sell. I found out later that day that not even half an hour after we were GIVEN tomatoes, Cooper sold a bag of plums to Brother Shewell. Oh boy, was I embarrassed. I guess I should know my boys are capable of things like this... they actually made about $5 selling ROCKS to our Rigby neighborhood. Now, if you know anything about Rigby, you know that rocks are the last thing anyone needs there. If you dig a hole, you'll have a pile of rocks with no dirt... hopefully this ability to make money continues with them later in life. ;)

One of my Silver Sneakers class members passed away this morning. (No... NOT in class, thank goodness!) She had cancer. Sweet little Edna will really be missed. I did get to visit her at her house a little while ago, and she still had that smile... it's hard to lose my friends... the hazards of teaching a fitness class for the aged, I guess. I love them all. I really hope this funeral thing slows down soon...

My kids are sweet, my husband is amazing... yup. It's true.

p.s. Read the "to do" list on the side. Thanks, Shannon... it was an excellent talk!

Deep Thoughts by Jack Ha... I mean, Me.

This last weekend we went to Brandon's cousin Brittney's funeral... it was a sad day, but a good remembrance of a wonderful life. This girl is one of the bravest, happiest, strongest people I have ever known. She battled cancer for over 5 years, and it never took her spirit and hope. I am determined to follow her example better. I know I'll never reach her level, but if she can endure what she endured with a smile, I should be able to whine a little less, right? I made her one of my quilted bag things, and I was told by a few people how much she loved it, and how her tubes fit perfectly in it... apparently she was a stylish cancer patient. ;) I am so glad that I could do that one little thing for her, but wish I could've done a lot more... it's hard to feel so helpless when you see others suffer so much.

I had a good conversation with my dad-in-law, and one of the things we talked about was one of the presidents in his ward (he's the bishop) who he said was sensitive to the spirit. It got me thinking and worrying afterward. Am I UNsensitive to the spirit? I feel like I have good feelings about things, particularly related to my calling, and then it doesn't turn out the way that I expect, or turn out at all... and I'm left feeling frustrated, and I start doubting myself and my answers to prayer. Do any of you have any insight for me?

On a lighter note... ummm... can't think of anything. I just thought I should lighten things up a bit, but I'm blank. ;)

Help My Scheduled Mess

I'm feeling a little bit (okay, a LOT) overwhelmed, and I decided something's gotta give. Whatever I'm doing isn't working, and I've got to do something else. The problem is, I really can't stop doing any of the things I'm doing, so tell me how I can arrange it better.

On Mondays I teach at the gym from 9:00 to noon, then start teaching violin lessons at 1:00. I thought this would be good to put all my stuff on one day, so I'd have free days. It turns out that I'm stressed, I rarely get a shower, and it's just a bit too much. On Thursdays I do pretty much the same thing again... gym then violin. Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays aren't scheduled, but you can bet I fill them up pretty darn quickly. Photoshop class, YW meetings, canning, needing to paint but haven't even had time for that yet, photo shoots and editing, playing my violin at funerals (okay, that doesn't happen often, but that's the kind of stuff that's filling my days up). I really wish I had time to get to the nitty gritty cleaning and decorating projects, and maybe even read a book every once in awhile, but I feel like if I do have a moment that's not scheduled, it's an hour long at most. I'm barely keeping my house sort-of clean.

I know I'm not as busy as a lot of women, and I know some women work full time (how they do it, I'll NEVER know). I don't have any help from Brandon with the kids, because the 6 hours he is home from work is mostly filled with sleeping, poor guy. And to top it all off, I got a call from Cooper's teacher telling me he has behavior problems in class. I just need some suggestions before I go crazy. I'll listen. :) Well, gotta go... violin lesson coming.

Musings on a Morning Run

I think I'll run out in the country today.

Oh, this makes my heart hurt... not because I'm running, but because I can't live out here.

I like that house. I wonder if they'd trade me?

I wonder if I put an ad in the paper some country mouse would trade houses with a city mouse?

I want to live in a place where the sound of a car means a friend is coming to visit.

I want to live in a place where I don't breathe secondhand smoke when my neighbor decides to light one up.

I wish I could pick up my house and move it to a field out here.

I want to live in a place where I can take a picture of the sunrise without houses in the way.

If I visualize something hard enough, can it really happen?

Oh, look at that gorgeous tree-lined white-fenced lane with the red barn!! Someone's turning up that lane. Lucky sumbeaches.

Hello, cow.

Why does my left butt cheek hurt? That's weird.

My knee is feeling good though. Niiice.

Hello, dog. Thank you for being behind a fence.

I love that house! I think it's mine. Maybe I can convince the owners that it's really mine.

I don't like running with the sun in my face. Kinda hot.

Why can't we have the life we dream of? Why can't Brandon work 18 hours a day on a farm instead of sitting in an office?

I miss Brandon.

My left butt cheek still hurts. Maybe it's those exercises I did in toning class.

Hello, cow.

3 1/2 miles is enough for today.

Ahhh... air conditioning in my face. I can drive home now.

Photos All Day Long

Last night we had a big photo shoot for our YW activity. The girls wanted to do that, and I was all for it... have I ever turned down an opportunity to take pictures? ;) I made the leaders do it too... they were reluctant, but I think they're some of the best photos of the night! Rose is one of the most beautiful people I know.

I loved Samauree's dress! This was one of my favorites. All of these girls were like supermodels... gorgeous and photogenic!

Of course I'm a bit partial to my baby's blue eyes. Sha fixed her hair for the shoot, and it turned out so cute!

I got to take some pictures of some kids too... thanks for bringing them along, Lacy and Kristen!

I thought it was a fun activity! I wish we could've had all of the girls there, but we're happy to get whoever comes. :) If you want to see more click on my photography blog button (top right corner).

Breathtaking. Life.

Remember this? I took this picture at Strawberry Reservoir on Memorial weekend.

Yesterday when I was driving home I decided that I better stop at the same spot again to take some pictures, or I'd never forgive myself. This is the kind of beauty that makes you want to cry. Or be really really glad that you are a photographer. Or really really frustrated that you didn't bring your tripod.

I was driving home from Bountiful after competing in my first triathlon. It was a fun experience to do this with my dad, who is a triathlon addict, and has competed in a few already, and with Jason, Brenda, and especially Aubrey for their first time too. Even more sweet was running across the finish line holding my sister's hand. We didn't stay together most of the time, but we ended up together, climbing out of the pool at the same time. It was a happy ending. :) Aubrey did a great job, and was the 2nd youngest finisher of the race. I was proud of her. She was SO fast on the swimming part! It seemed like she barely got in the pool, and then she was out already!

I've felt so overwhelmed today... feeling like I will never ever catch up. Life just goes by so fast, and it seems like all I can do is hang on for dear life so I don't get trampled. Brandon told me I could have his palm, so I could schedule my life and have it beep at me whenever I need to do something. Yeah. It's that easy. ;)

But you know what? It's okay. How could you look at beauty like this, given to us by our Heavenly Father, and not know that somehow it will be okay. He loves me. He loves you. That I know. This weekend was full of really great things... supporting family in doing something challenging... a sweet visit with a family member I've been struggling with that softened my heart and brought a lot of hope, and released a burden that has weighed my heart down for a long time... a stake meeting for the addition of a new stake in the area (which we are in), where we were blessed to hear from so many good men and women, and be uplifted... and more. I don't know why I get overwhelmed when there are so many blessings, but I guess we all do that at times.

And who could be sad when they have a camera and photoshop to play with? ;) What experience has especially blessed you this weekend? I'd love to hear in the comments, if you want to share. :)