???

 So, I don't really even know what to write on a blog anymore. Once upon a time blogging was one of the first things that came to mind when things happened... you know, I'd write it out in my head, think about how clever and funny I am... But now every once in a very long while I think, I should blog... I used to like that, I think. But then I sit here with nothing in my head, and I remember why I don't blog anymore.

I went on a hike with the youth last night to Moonshine Arch... it was beautiful. Life is good.

I Bet You Thought I Wasn't Blogging Anymore

I don't even know if anyone reads this old blog anymore... I'm pretty sure that most of the people I know either keep up with me on facebook, or my photography blog, or they call me, or come over to see me, or they really and truly don't care what's going on over here. ;) For the one or two who still read this blog... I thought I'd throw some randomness at you.

I finished the Personal Progress program for the 4th time and earned my new medallion today... I really and truly love the YW program. Aubrey earned hers a few months ago, and she was such an inspiration to me through the process. I loved going through the value experiences, and learning and growing. Believe me, even when you're an "old woman" you still have a lot of learning and growing to do. Did you know that ANY woman can do the Personal Progress program? Yep, you can. If you want to, and don't know how, or where to start, I'd love to help you. 

We're going to move... did that get your attention? ;) Well, there are a few things that have to happen first, like we have to sell our house... but we're really praying that things will work out. We need a little farm before all of our kids are grown and gone. We need a place for Cedar (our horse) to live, and a place for the boys to raise their chickens and bunnies. We love our old house, but it's time. We love it here in Vernal, Brandon has a good job, our kids are settled in... we need to make our little dream come true here. So... if anyone knows anyone in the market for a house, send them our way. We'll try to do it cheaper without a realtor for a bit. 

I convinced Brandon to sign up to do the "Tough Mudder" with me in October. It's 10 miles, 25 military-style obstacles... pretty much insanity. I think he hates me a little bit for getting him to sign up, but what can I say? What's done is done. ;) I'm really looking forward to Wasatch Back with my girls and Tough Mudder with 25 of my friends and family. Yep, that many insane people that I know... who would've thunk it? Thanks to my sister for coming up with the hare-brained idea in the first place. I'm expecting her to let me run right behind her through the electric shock part... fair, right? I mean, I had to put up with having a pesky little sister most of my life... she should be good for something...  ;)

Aubrey got asked to prom awhile ago and went dress shopping this past weekend. She found a gorgeous dress. It's truly stunning. I can't believe my little girl is wearing floor length teal ball gowns and looking so beautiful and grown up. I asked her if I could borrow it... I never ever had a dress that even came close to that one when I was a teenager. I have no idea where I'd wear it, but I just know I'd feel like a princess.

Tyler is on staff for a couple of scout camps this summer. It's been neat to see him take responsibility, and get excited about really early morning meetings. He's a good kid, and I'm grateful that he's mine. He's going to have a good summer. I'm really excited for these experiences that he gets to have.

Cooper and Captain came with us on a Sunday walk this afternoon. When we walked past the Middle School he reminded me that he would be going there next school year. Oh. my. gosh. Why does he have to remind me?? I can hardly believe that I will no longer have any children in elementary school, and in a little over a year, I won't have any kids in primary either. 

I am absolutely loving this time of my life. My kids are growing up to be really great people, and I like being around them. I wouldn't mind freezing here for a bit, but then I realize that every stage has had its great things, and I've truly enjoyed every one of them... and maybe I'll love the next stage in life just as much...or more, who knows? I talked to my Grandma Howell on the phone the other day about motherhood... we were interrupted by someone coming to bring her down for dinner, but the conversation we had was great. She is such an example to me of finding the good in every stage of life. You know, right now her sweetheart has to live in a nursing facility, and he isn't doing well at all... they can't be together, and it breaks my heart. Yet, she is still cheerful and loving, and every bit herself. I need to call her again and finish that conversation.... and start some new ones. I have so many amazing women in my life to learn from... I just need to absorb all of their good qualities and maybe someday I'll be that kind of woman. I've been working really hard the past little while (well, my whole life truly, but especially the past little while) to be a better person. It's really slow progress, and I have a lot of set-backs, but things are slowly starting to sink in and become more a part of who I am. I'm letting go of some of the things that were keeping me from being the person I know I can be... it's hard, and I still have more to let go, but luckily I still have a lot of life left to do it.

Zac Brown Band!!

 Guess who I got to see in concert? Yep... Zac Brown Band!! One of the most awesome concerts. Ever.

 I'm like the luckiest girl in the world, so it gets even better...

 I got to MEET Zac Brown. Like shake his hand, say, "How's it going"? and "I've always liked your beard. It's awesome."  I know... it's pretty amazing that I can come up with such witty stuff. You'd think I'd just be tongue-tied, and not know what to say, but I was totally cool. Charming the whole band with my conversation.

 And, if you think that's cool... it gets even better...

 I got to eat a dinner made by the Zac Brown Band (well, Zac's recipes mostly, and his personal chef). It was the most delicious dinner. Ever. I can't even describe how freaking delicious it was. So good. Soooo so good.

 But, you know what the best thing was? Spending time with Tari. She's the one who can work the magic of getting me into these kinds of things. I have to say, I'd be friends with Tari forever, even if she didn't have these awesome connections, but I'm not going to complain. ;)

 The whole experience was perfect (except maybe the 5 hour drive out there in a blizzard... Tari's a great driver. :) It flew by way too fast. It's all like a dream. :)

 Oh! And I bought Brandon a t-shirt (because he loves ZBB too, and kind of hated me a little bit that I got to go). I talked myself out of buying one for me, because I got to see the concert, and I figured that was as much as I deserved. ;)

 But then, on my birthday... Tari surprised me with the t-shirt I was loving. See what I mean? You can't find a better friend, even if you searched the whole world over. She snuck out to "go to the bathroom" (and wouldn't let me go with her), and missed one of her favorite songs, just so she could surprise me on my birthday.

 I love ZBB. I love Southern cooking. I love Tari. I love my life. :)

Christmas in the Cabin

 This year for Christmas we decided to do something a little bit different... we rented a cabin in Alta, Wyoming. Just look at that view out our window! It was gorgeous... the cabin was a sweet, cute little cabin, with a kitchen nicer than what I have at home (which isn't all that hard. ;)

We ate delicious food, relaxed, put together a puzzle, went for walks, watched cheesy Christmas movies, and listened to Cooper be a big grump.

 We had Dad and Mom Smith with us, and we loved spending time with them! It was so much fun to have them share Christmas morning with us. We got up bright and early, opened presents, got ready, and went to 9 am church. (We don't do many presents, so it doesn't take that long. ;)  Church was wonderful! I was surprised by how packed it was.

 The kids loved their presents (Aubrey got a netbook, ninja blender; Tyler got a gun, leatherman; Cooper got a kindle, harmonica; Brandon surprised me with an ipod nano.)

 The puzzle... that we all worked on for an entire day. It was harder than it looks. ;)

Hope your Christmas was merry and bright too. :)

A Post about Resolutions... and Underwear

I love Resolutions... fresh starts... deciding that TODAY is the day I start my change for the better.

Last year I made it simple... I wasn't going to sweat the small stuff, and I was going to make sure Brandon had clean underwear. Well... just this morning Brandon informed me that I obviously have more clothing than the rest of the family, because they're all out. BUT... I don't sweat the small stuff, and since I have underwear, it's nothing to worry about. ;)

Let's break it down with my questions that I wrote down to help me:

-Is it really worth getting upset over?

Nope. I have clean underwear.

-Is it worth upsetting others?

Nope. I don't want to add to the upset that is already happening.

-Is it that important?

Nope. I have clean underwear.

-Is it that bad?

Nope. I have clean underwear.

-Is the situation irreparable?

There is a washer. And a dryer. So, no.

-Is it really your problem?

Nope. I have clean underwear, and they know where the washer is.

So, there you go. I think I did a pretty good job of fulfilling last year's resolutions. ;)

This year:

I'm eliminating that "b" word from my life. (And it's not that "b" word that rhymes with "witch", because I'm pretty sure that "b" word will pop up from time to time... probably at least 12 times this year.) (My new logo courtesy of Middle-Aged Mormon Man... you have to go check out his blog!)

I'm doing a crazy healthy challenge that my friend Janice sets up every year. So, I'll be doing healthy things into March, and then we'll see. I may go back to my old self. This one's a 3 month resolution. ;)

I'm going to do a 366 photo project (leap year ;)... with my phone camera. I really stink at taking photos with the phone, so I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll have figured some things out.  Plus, since I already know that I stink at it, there won't be huge pressure to produce a good photo every day. I'll just have to produce a photo. Plus plus... there will be the added benefit of (hopefully) documenting my children's lives a little better. I'll be posting them on facebook, so you might want to save yourself the headache and just unfriend me now.

Last one: morning and night prayer EVERY day in 2012. Shouldn't be that hard, I know... but it is. 

That's it. :) What are your resolutions for 2012?

The Word I Refuse to Accept

I've thought a lot about this through the last year or so... and have decided that 2012 is going to be the year that this word vanishes from my life.

Busy.

I hate it. I always have. I cringe inside when I hear it come out of my mouth. I cringe inside when other people use it to describe me. I hate it. I hate it because it's an excuse... an excuse to shut others out, an excuse to leave out some of the important things in life, an excuse to avoid doing things we claim we want to do, and to avoid things that should be done.

When people say it about me, I never feel like it's a good thing. It feels like a criticism, even if they don't mean it that way.

We all have time to do the things that we want to do. If I say "I'm just too busy... I can't possibly do that" what it really sounds like I'm saying is that I'm doing a whole lot of things that I find much more important than you.

So, I'm changing some things in my life. The main things may seem to contradict each other, but I think you'll understand.

I am going to say no more often. There are a whole lot of things that I do that are way less important to me than, say, spending time with my kids, but I have a hard time saying no to them. I'm not going to allow so many things that are not needed into my life. I'm sure I'll still waste some time on junk, and I'll still find myself doing something for somebody or other that will make Brandon roll his eyes... but I'm going to do that less often. I'm going to spend less time on the people who don't really care about me.

I am going to say yes more often. (There's the contradiction. ;) I don't want to live in a way that people will even think to say to me that I am busy. I want to have time to go for a run with Tyler. I want to have time to go to the library for an afternoon with Cooper. I want to have time to sit on Aubrey's bed and talk for an hour. I want to have time to spend with the people who want to spend time with me, and talk to the people who want to talk to me. I want to have time to go to the temple with the girls. I want to have time to let Brandon lay on my lap while I run my fingers through his hair.

My life will still be full... very full. But it's going to be full with the things that bring me joy, and bring joy to others. I'm looking forward to a peaceful 2012. :)

Updated Photography Blog!

I've been working SO hard... hours and hours and hours... on my new photography blog. Go over and see, okay? :)