Smith Family Ice Cream Scoop: The Word I Refuse to Accept

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Word I Refuse to Accept

I've thought a lot about this through the last year or so... and have decided that 2012 is going to be the year that this word vanishes from my life.

Busy.

I hate it. I always have. I cringe inside when I hear it come out of my mouth. I cringe inside when other people use it to describe me. I hate it. I hate it because it's an excuse... an excuse to shut others out, an excuse to leave out some of the important things in life, an excuse to avoid doing things we claim we want to do, and to avoid things that should be done.

When people say it about me, I never feel like it's a good thing. It feels like a criticism, even if they don't mean it that way.

We all have time to do the things that we want to do. If I say "I'm just too busy... I can't possibly do that" what it really sounds like I'm saying is that I'm doing a whole lot of things that I find much more important than you.

So, I'm changing some things in my life. The main things may seem to contradict each other, but I think you'll understand.

I am going to say no more often. There are a whole lot of things that I do that are way less important to me than, say, spending time with my kids, but I have a hard time saying no to them. I'm not going to allow so many things that are not needed into my life. I'm sure I'll still waste some time on junk, and I'll still find myself doing something for somebody or other that will make Brandon roll his eyes... but I'm going to do that less often. I'm going to spend less time on the people who don't really care about me.

I am going to say yes more often. (There's the contradiction. ;) I don't want to live in a way that people will even think to say to me that I am busy. I want to have time to go for a run with Tyler. I want to have time to go to the library for an afternoon with Cooper. I want to have time to sit on Aubrey's bed and talk for an hour. I want to have time to spend with the people who want to spend time with me, and talk to the people who want to talk to me. I want to have time to go to the temple with the girls. I want to have time to let Brandon lay on my lap while I run my fingers through his hair.

My life will still be full... very full. But it's going to be full with the things that bring me joy, and bring joy to others. I'm looking forward to a peaceful 2012. :)

13 comments:

Watson Family said...: I cried as I read this post which means my spirit must be craving the same things, like time with my children and husband and time doing those things that fulfill me while saying no to the things that do not fill my cup regardless what others who really do not care about me think! Thanks for so eloquently sharing, Mindy.; 2:38 PM
Rachel Holloway said...: I'm going to spend less time on the people who don't really care about me.
...YES. you nailed what my very thoughts have been. In regards to FB. Life. People around me. You always say just the right thing that so many would find hard to put into words. It really touched me...thank you;.; 3:03 PM
Briana said...: Awesome post. I need to do the same ;) Thanks for sharing.; 4:15 PM
Kandice said...: well said :)
I read a church talk once that said the true definition of the word BUSY...is Being Under Satan's Yolk...meaning he keeps us so busy doing the things that truly don't matter and that wont bring true happiness into our lives.
I definitely need to adapt that lifestyle more too!!; 4:47 PM
Mindy said...: Coming to you as a fan from Brooke Snow and I just love this post! It completely describes my heart right now and my quest for finding the right balance and priorities in my life! May you have a blessed Christmas and succeed with this goal in 2012!; 5:11 PM
Karey said...: Seriously good post. I've had a word I focus on the past few years but I may join you in finding a word or phrase I'd like to eliminate. I think this is so good and I'm feeling a little swell of pride for your wisdom and that we're related. Good job!; 5:21 PM
Charlotte said...: Sounds like an excellent plan to me.; 5:49 PM
Tari said...: Amen,Sister! I stive for this balance oftan!; 7:50 AM
Georgia said...: Mindy,

You are a wise young woman! Thank you for a good reminder at a time of year when we are resolving to do better in the next year.

I too hate the word and will try to vanquish from my vocabulary. I agree that it seems to be a backwards compliment when people use it to describe me. I was called as RS President (for the second time). I had someone in the ward tell me they wanted to call and talk to me, but they thought I was too busy. I wanted to sit on the floor and cry. I am determined to do everything in my power to make sure no one ever feels like my life is too busy for the people I love and care about.

Thanks again, Mindy!!; 8:28 AM
Belinda Olsen said...: What a beautiful post! I LOVE everything that you said and feel the same way. Thanks for your inspiring words!; 5:55 PM
Tracy said...: Oh, I love this post. So much to ponder. I am determined to make time this year for the most important things...the habits, people, and events that are essential to my soul and to their souls.

It is time.; 10:53 PM
Tracy said...: Oh, I love this post. So much to ponder. I am determined to make time this year for the most important things...the habits, people, and events that are essential to my soul and to their souls.

It is time.; 10:53 PM
Leslie said...: thanks for this posting.

you have hit on something that i have been TRYING to work on with aaron jr. i fail so often, but i keep trying.

i think you have given me an idea for my resolution for next year.

love you.; 1:35 AM

To Do Today

* Embrace this day with an enthusiastic welcome, no matter how it looks. The covenant with God to which you are true enables you to become enlightened by him, and nothing is impossible for you.
* When you are physically sick, tired, or in despair, steer your thoughts away from yourself and direct them, in gratitude and love, toward God.
* In your life there have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and therefore make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But you make the decision of which road you take.
* First and foremost, you are a spirit child of God. If you neglect to feed your spirit, you will reap unhappiness. Don't permit anything to detract you from this awareness.
* You cannot communicate with God unless you have first sacrificed your self-oriented natural man and have brought yourself into the lower levels of meekness, to become acceptable for the Light of Christ.
* Put all frustrations, hurt feelings, and grumblings into the perspective of your eternal hope. Light will flow into your soul.
* Pause to ponder the suffering Christ felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. In the awareness of the depth of gratitude for him, you appreciate every opportunity to show your love for him by diligently serving in his Church.
* God knows that you are not perfect. As you suffer about your imperfections, he will give you comfort and suggestions of where to improve.
* God knows better than you what you need. He always attempts to speak to you. Listen, and follow the uncomfortable suggestions that he makes to us--everything will fall into its place.
* Avoid any fear like your worst enemy, but magnify your fear about the consequences of sin.
* When you cannot love someone, look into that person's eyes long enough to find the hidden rudiments of the child of God in him.
* Never judge anyone. When you accept this, you will be freed. In the case of your own children or subordinates, where you have the responsibility to judge, help them to become their own judges.
* If someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive and you will be free again.
* Avoid at all cost any pessimistic, negative, or criticizing thoughts. If you cannot cut them out, they will do you harm. On the road toward salvation, let questions arise but never doubts. If something is wrong, God will give you clarity but never doubts.
* Avoid rush and haste and uncontrolled words. Divine light develops in places of peace and quiet. Be aware of that as you enter places of worship.
* Be not so much concerned about what you do, but do what you do with all your heart, might, and strength. In thoroughness is satisfaction.
* You want to be good and to do good. That is commendable. But the greatest achievement that can be reached in our lives is to be under the complete influence of the Holy Ghost. Then he will teach us what is really good and necessary to do.
* The pain of sacrifice lasts only one moment. It is the fear of the pain of sacrifice that makes you hesitate to do it.
* Be grateful for every opportunity to serve. It helps you more than those you serve.
* And finally, when you are compelled to give up something or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better.

from "Unleashing the Dormant Spirit by F. Enzio Busche