Prayers Answered

A week ago I had a day that confirmed to me the love that my Heavenly Father has for me... and my sweet friend Charlotte wrote a blog post that reminded me that these are the things I should share...

Brandon had to go to Evanston early in the morning, and was gone by 4:00 a.m. When I got up (a wee bit later ;) I called to see how things were going. He had hit a deer, had to stop and fix his whole bumper and light so he could continue driving, and then proceeded to drive through a blizzard. I thought, wow... thank goodness he's okay! That could have been so much worse.

Then, not even an hour later, Aubrey calls me with a shaky voice. She had just been in a wreck (a friend driving) and had hit a telephone pole. Everyone in the car was okay, but they were shaken up for sure. I thought, wow... so glad she's okay. Whew!

Then, later that morning, I reformatted my memory card for my camera. A few hours later, I had a thought... that it was the card that had an entire family session on it that I hadn't uploaded yet. I prayed SO hard that somehow I had uploaded it, and it would be there, safe on my computer. It wasn't. I was panicky, sick... and I called the mom of the family, who was sweet and understanding... but obviously (and understandably) disappointed that we would have to re-shoot.

I found a program that can recover files, and worked the rest of the afternoon... miraculously recovering every single file I had shot.

I was so busy that day, and had so many things on my mind, that I hardly had a chance to think much about what was happening in my day. All of a sudden, it all hit me like a ton of bricks... I realized that Heavenly Father had been watching over me and my family the entire day. In the big things, and the little things. My files weren't magically uploaded, but they were able to be recovered (and I learned a very good lesson)... it was a little thing, but I know that he answered that frantic prayer.

But more importantly... in one day I could've lost my husband and my daughter. They were completely protected, and were okay. The feeling of overwhelming gratitude just overtook me, and I fell to my knees and sobbed a prayer of thanks. I had gone most of the day without letting myself think about what could have happened that morning, but the silly little blessing of recovered files had made me realize how very much I had been blessed that day.

He hears our prayers... our daily prayers for protection, our prayers of desperation when we've done something stupid... He hears every desire of our hearts, and He loves us enough to care... and even sometimes to say no. I am so grateful for that day a week ago... and I am committing now to be better at my prayers... to express gratitude more often... in the little things as well as the big things.

Photoshoot Exchange

I was too excited about this and had to share...

So, my friend Kristi, who is also a photographer, and I, decided to switch photoshoots and see what it's like on the other side of the camera. We had so much fun... I LOVED every minute, even though I was a little bit nervous about being a "model". And look... look what she got! I love these pics!!

And then... because I'm super lucky, I got to take pics of an incredibly gorgeous (inside and out) girl!! I can't wait to get to editing some more... but I have some other fun sessions I must edit first. ;)

I'm SO glad we did this... and so grateful for great (and beautiful) friends. :) Thank you, Kristi!!!

Lovin' This Fall

This post might be a little bit about photography... apologies in advance. ;)

I am loving my new camera. LOVING it. I felt a little bit sad that I was abandoning my first camera love... but I got over that pretty fast. ;)

I love love love when I get a chance to shoot family. Felicia wanted me to do some Halloween Minis of her three cute boys, and I was so glad that we could make it work, and that we found such a great trade. :) This pose above? I have to tell you the story. We shot a whole bunch of cute poses and when we were done, Allston said, "I've got one more pose for you"... and this was it. Cracked. Me. Up. Anyway... I really do love capturing those that I love with my camera. I wish I had the chance more often... but I do know that Vernal is a bit far to drive for pictures. ;)

This fall has been gorgeous. Beautiful. Every day is near perfection, and I feel like each day is a gift. I wish I could store a few of these days in a bottle to pull out in the middle of the dreary winter, but I'll just have to look back at my photos and remember. :)

Brandon and I went to the Matt Nathanson concert this last weekend. We might be a little bit old to stand in a club for an entire concert and get beer spilled on us... but the music was fantastic. We loved the opening band, Scars on 45, and haven't stopped listening to the cds we bought there.

Sigh... too many great things to write about them all... but it has been a really good fall season. :)

Overhearing Something Good

"overhearing someone say nice things about you"

I saw this on pinterest this morning... and it really got me thinking. Of course it's nice to overhear someone say nice things about you. How amazing is that? To know someone is saying nice things because they really think them, and not just to your face because they feel like they should. But then, I got thinking...

How many times have I said something nice about somebody that they've overheard? I hope it's happened a lot. What if I gave opportunity for it to happen more by saying more nice things? I like that idea. :) Especially with my kids... my kids should be overhearing the most nice things.

New goal for my 4th quarter comeback.  :)

Memories

When Tyler was born, Brandon found this cute little stuffed dog and brought it to his first baby boy while we were still in the hospital. We've all cherished it for almost 14 years... but it has been falling apart, and disintegrating as the years go by. (I had to work hard to get pics that you don't see the ear falling off and the huge holes... there might have been scotch tape involved. ;) I decided that photos can help us remember as well as the real thing, especially when there won't be much of the real thing left soon. :) Sweet little dog, huh?

Facebook... My Conclusions

This photo really doesn't have much to do with this post... except that I recently posted it on facebook and got so many great encouraging comments about it. That makes me happy... that makes my day brighter.

So, here's the thing. I spent a good share of my summer trying to decide if I share too much about myself online, and trying to figure out if the way I use the internet has hurt my relationships, or helped my relationships. And I think I've got it figured out... at least for myself. I'm definitely not saying that this is how everyone should use social media... I'm just saying this is how I use it.

Overall, my relationships have been strengthened because of blogging and facebook. There are the few people that it has not been a good thing with, but when I look at the big picture, I realize that I wouldn't want to give up the good things, because of a few miscommunications. Miscommunications happen in real life too. All the time.

What about privacy? Well, some things I don't share as much anymore... like my workouts. I've decided that will be more for me, and the few who really care. But ultimately, I'm just an open person. I share things, because I love and trust people. Do I get burned? Yep, sometimes I do. Do I have friends who are close to my heart because of it? Have I helped others who are going through similar things because of my openness at times? Yep, more often than not. I am still private about some things, and with some people, but I'm going to share what I want, and not worry about the few who won't like me because of it.

Some people are up in arms about the new facebook and the privacy issues there. Here's my take: facebook isn't meant to be private. Whoa. I know. It's a weird concept. If you have private things to share with others, or record for yourself, you do it in a private message, or in your own journal. Facebook can be an amazing way to share GOOD. I wanted lots of people to watch the RS General Broadcast... I shared the link and had so many people thank me for sharing it. If I "like" something, or comment on something, and someone discovers a good quote, or an inspiring story, or has a good laugh because of it, I think that's a good thing. And yes, like I said before, some are going to find fault with the things I like or say, but the majority won't.

Anyway, I've heard so much negative about facebook lately, that I wanted to put another perspective out there. I've made so many new friends, become closer to my friends, ward members, and neighbors, been inspired and enlightened, discovered things I never would've found on my own, and reconnected with cousins and friends that I probably wouldn't even know anything about it it weren't for facebook. What if, instead of being afraid of it, and jumping ship, and wanting everyone to hide everything we do... we used facebook to lift each other up? To encourage and to cheer? To share things that touch and inspire us? To connect and show love?

Thoughts While Waiting

So, I'm sitting here waiting for Brandon to be ready to go camping. I thought I'd be the one holding us up this time, but nope. I'm ready. Ready ages ago.

So, I got a bike. I'm trying to write that like it's just a little piece of news and I'm not even excited. The way my brain thinks about it is this: I got a bike!! I got a bike!!! I, Mindy, have a road bike!!!! I've gone on two 10+ mile bike rides and I've only fallen over a few times. ;) It's a little bit hard for me, apparently, to get the clipping in and out thing down. Being a photographer has many many perks. I love it. I got this bike in trade for photography for a bike shop. Pretty darn cool if you ask me. They're awesome there... if you want a bike, you should totally go to Salt Cycles in Sandy.

Well, maybe it's time to go. So long... I'm going camping!!

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

This last weekend was a good one for me. Yay! :) We got to visit a bit with Brandon's brother, Tanner, and Leisha and Maylee. It was so good to see them, and see how cute Maylee is and how much she has grown. She's very good at saying "cracker". It's impressive. :) I had a blast taking their family photos & Maylee's one year old photos. Is this not the perfect one year old capture? Just about walking on her own... but still hanging on to daddy. :)

We got to hang out a little bit with the Oyler family too, which was great, since we don't get together as often as we should. :) It was fun to go out on a triple date one night to Dinosaur Brew Haus, and eat breakfast together on Labor Day. We saw June take a few steps on her own (I swear that she was born yesterday) and the kids had fun running around with Molly and Annie.

One of the highlights of my month... maybe my year... was going to the temple for my friend, Tasha. She was sealed to her husband and four sweet, adorable, children. I was so grateful that she let me be a part of that...  it was such a neat experience, and so so needed in my life right now. I can't even express what a wonderful two days I had in the temple.

One of the things that hit me the most was when they had the chance to say yes, that they want to be married to each other for time and for all eternity. I thought how neat it was that they said yes years ago, and four kids and lots of life later they still say yes. :) It made me think of my relationship with Brandon ... how grateful I am for him. How if I had the chance to say yes to him again... after 16 years, 3 kids, 6 pregnancies, ups and downs, highs and lows, lots of loving and some fighting too... I wouldn't even hesitate. It would be a yes, and I would mean it even more than when I said yes the first time.

A couple of my amazingly amazing friends (did I mention that they are amazing??) are going to come have a painting party with me for my kitchen. I am so excited to have it done, but I still don't know what color to paint it. I think I did the wrong floor, but I don't know, because really, anything I think of goes with the floor I have, but it's just not quite right. I don't know what would have been right, though.

I am so anxious to get things nicer with my house lately that it feels like I'm nesting or something. But NO, I am not nesting, and not joking about it, especially in light of the facebook controversy that has been going on lately. (To bring awareness to breast cancer (ha. ha hahaha. tell me how this brings awareness in any way) people are posting "secret" status updates about how many weeks along they are and what they are craving... decided from their birth month and day. It's created uproar among the infertile community, which I get... Anyway, if I were to help spread breast cancer awareness, I'd write a facebook status that says, hey, check your breasts for lumps. Anyone can get breast cancer... women and men. Donate to help find the cure. Hug your grandma who is a breast cancer survivor. Be grateful for benign lumps. Be grateful for life.)

Wow, that was a tangent. Is it even okay to say that much inside parenthesis? ;)

Back to my house... I have too much stuff, and I started really looking at my decorations. Some of them are like 15 years old. I started pulling stuff down yesterday and putting what I don't want in a box. When I look in that box it looks like junk that I would turn my nose up at if I saw it at DI. I'd say, who would buy that?? Ugh. I don't know why I still have some of it. I guess it's memories... that's what Brandon says anyway. I asked him if he's tired of me, since he's had me around for so long. He said that he'll keep me... cause of the memories and stuff. ;)

Gosh, I'm chatty today. I'm supposed to be working on photography stuff, and I am... I'm just taking breaks to blab on here every once in awhile when things pop in my head. I think I'll put some music on and quit writing. I've probably said way too many embarrassing things already. ;)

Family Night with Cedar

Yesterday Brandon got all of the burrs cleared out of Cedar's pasture, so we brought her back to the pasture last night for a little riding and fun. (You should have seen her mane with all the burrs in it... I should've taken a picture. All I know, is if I looked in the mirror and saw that my mane was matted into one big burr-mess, I would cry. Poor Cedar. It took Brandon a very long time to pick each one out.)

Brandon rode first. We were worried that Cedar would probably only be good for Brandon, at least for awhile, but she's actually really gentle. She's good with commands, just a squeeze with either leg will turn her, and she is patient. She spooks a little sometimes, so we have to be careful, but I'm happy that she's turning out to be such a good horse so far. Brandon thinks she's a little smaller than what he would like for him eventually, and thinks she's just right for my size...maybe by the time I'm actually good at riding horses, she can be mine and he'll have a bigger one.

Cedar had just run through sprinklers... to explain the dots on her. ;) Cooper was so excited to ride! He had a grin on his face almost the entire time.

Can you see the grin? Yep. He loves loves loves her.

Brandon got his exercise running everyone around for awhile.

And Tyler rode a bit by himself. He did a great job!

I handed my camera over to Tyler to take a few photos of me riding. I forgot that I'm not supposed to talk while people are taking my picture. They're either blurry, or I'm talking. And I'm not pretty when someone captures a still photo of me talking. It kind of scares me... do I look that bad when I'm talking in real life? Oh, the horror. Anyway, I loved riding. I'm excited to get better at it, and thinking about learning to ride bareback.  I sat on Cedar without a saddle the other day, and I think I liked it a bit better. We'll see... she doesn't seem to mind either way.

We all love Cedar, and are glad that she's part of our family. :)

Oh, and we do love our daughter, Aubrey, too... she's just never around anymore. ;)

Straight to the Heart of the Matter

First, before you read any of what I write, you have to go over and read this post over at Brave Girls. It made me cry. I related. I thought. I cried.

One time, a long time ago... Brandon worked at Inkley's in Rexburg. I was going to visit him at work, and for some reason the traffic was ridiculous that day. I waited in the left turn lane, with a parking spot right there in my sight, for what seemed like forever. It was the only parking spot on the road, and I was signaling, showing it was mine. When it looked like traffic was about to clear, someone turned right, right into my spot. I was so mad. I flipped around on the road, had to drive a block away and walk to the store. Couldn't they see that I had been waiting and signaling for that spot?

Then, I walk into the store, and a man comes up to me and says "I am so sorry, I didn't realize that you were there until after I had already pulled in." I forgave him immediately, but the real lesson came later... he had come into Inkley's to bring photos to be developed. Photos of his wife and newborn baby... his wife, who had died right after childbirth just days before.

I could not believe that I had even had one thought of anger. When his whole life had been ripped apart, turned upside down... I had been worried about a parking space. A parking space! I would have stood there for the whole day saving it for him, if I had known. But that's the thing... so often we don't know. We don't even have the blessing of finding out after the fact what "sign" a person might be wearing most of the time. We just judge, treat harshly, and think of ourselves.

I've had my own struggles... times where I smile to everyone, but I am wondering how I'm going to make it through the next day... times where my pillow is wet from crying and I can't sleep, where my fears are so great that I can't breathe. Times where I wish somebody could really know what I'm going through and not say things that make everything that much harder... even when they have no intention of hurt. I'm willing to bet that more of us are struggling in private than any of us will ever know. We can't share everything... we don't want to share everything... but wouldn't that make the world a little kinder, easier place if we just knew when gentleness was needed?

Here's my challenge for myself... to remember that there is never a time when gentleness isn't needed. Yes, it's that simple, yet so complex. I will do my best... will you?

It's Kind of a Funny Thing

 Yesterday... it was one of those days that I just lost it a little bit. It started out great... working out at the gym with a friend, going to lunch with another friend... but quickly went downhill. It's kind of funny now, really... but what kind of mom goes to the middle school to pick up her 8th grader (who is now in junior high?) I got all the way to the office, asked for Tyler, waited for her to find him... then realized my blunder. Yes, I was embarrassed. By the time I got to the junior high to check him out for our dentist appointments, the after-school crowd of cars was there. Tyler's reluctance to go and dilly-dallying didn't help the situation, and we had a 35 minute drive ahead of us to do in 20 minutes. Needless to say, we didn't make it in time... and they couldn't get us both in anymore.

 Add to that a huge windshield chip, stupid drivers, and life crap just weighing me down, and I wasn't coping very well. Then... I thought Cooper had to go to a birthday party at 6:00. At 6:10 we're rushing to their door, me thinking "who IS this girl who is late to everything?? It can't possibly be me"... just to find out that the birthday party is tomorrow. Yes, I think I've reached my quota of feeling stupid in one day for sure. My house was (is) a mess, and I had apricot picking drama added on top of everything else. I might have cried a little... not because my life is so hard or so bad, but because I feel like silly things like this should be easy for me to handle, and I wasn't handling it well.

Finally I sat down and just edited... I knew that one of the stresses weighing me down was the sessions I have coming up (5 more this week)... and knowing that I still had sessions on the editing block was worrying me. It helped... a lot. I loved the little surprises of a great expression, or the light hitting just so. I loved the soothing feeling of going through the photos one at a time, choosing the ones that spoke to me. It lifted some of the weight off to know that I am caught up... for now... but it also made me realize that I have to step back and remember why I do this. Because I love it. Because it is me. 

I still felt like a failure as a mom, as a homemaker, as a manager of this family and house. I know we all have days like that (right? tell me you do) but it's not a fun feeling. I daydreamed about running away yesterday. We all do that sometimes (right? tell me you do). 

I realized that I'm going to have to quit teaching violin lessons... and I'm so scared to tell my students. How dumb is that? It's my life... but I feel huge guilt about it. Huge. 

Well, it's a new day. I'm going to try to keep myself together today and actually be on time to things... and actually get something done in my house. 

Who am I kidding? I'm a mess.  ;)

Back to School... Already

 Some gorgeous woman came to my porch this morning, so I took pictures. Wait! That's Aubrey! When did she turn into a grown up? She said she always looks bad on the first day of school, but I think not. I think she's stunning.

 This is Aubrey's junior year. She's been working all summer, paid for most of her back to school stuff, including her school fees, and she's already into the cross country running season. She's taking pre-calculus, AP English, Seminary, Sports Medicine, Choir, and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember. She can't wait until she's 16. Sigh.

 My kids all got nice backpacks this year (I'm sick of 2 months into the year dealing with broken zippers, broken straps, and holes in the bottom of the backpack.) The boys' are LL Bean... guaranteed, baby. Aubrey bought her own.

 Cooper's going to be a 5th grader. He gets to go to the brand spankin' new school for his last year in elementary. It's a big beautiful school. He gets to have 3 different teachers every day... kind of a transition into middle school. His favorite subject is science.

 In the past, Cooper has been super good at making friends and being the kid that everyone in the class just loved. He hasn't been as good at that in the last couple years, so we have a challenge this year. If he makes 10 new friends we're going to have a "good-bye elementary school" party at the end of the year. I think he'll do it.

 One of my favorite things is the night-before-school father's blessings that Brandon gives the kids every year. We always laugh about the wet heads the kids get from dad's tears falling down. The kids all got some great promises and blessings last night. I just know this is going to be a good year for all of them.

 Tyleroni is going to be in Junior High this year... 8th grade. (They have elementary (k-5), then middle school (6-7), then junior high (8-9), then high school here.) He's excited to go, but not excited about where his locker is, and not excited that he narrowly missed being in honors math.

When he heard of the deal I made with Cooper, he decided to go one better. He's going to lose 10 enemies and make 10 friends. They can be the same people, or different people... either way it's a good thing. He's also going to work on getting all A's (my idea) or all A's and maybe a few B's (his idea). Honestly, I'll be fine with that.

Well, there goes another summer, and here comes another school year. I'd have to say that we're ready, although the summer did go by too fast. I sure love my kids, and am so grateful that I get to be a mom to these three totally awesome incredible smart sassy good-lookin' kiddos.

Don't Forget

You are strong.

It might be hard, like a marathon,

but you can do it.

Our New Girl, Cedar

 We went to visit our horse, Cedar, tonight. She needs to move closer to us, but we're still waiting on word about a nearby pasture.

 She didn't seem very interested in getting her picture taken, but I think one of these days she'll get used to it... she'll have to with me around. Who knows... I might even get her to smile.  :)

We went for a little drive afterwards and watched a beautiful rainbow and then a breathtaking sunset.  Oh, how I wish we lived out in the country. At least now we know that dreams do come true... sometimes it just takes a very long time to get there. :)

Summer... Where Did You Go?

 I had so many plans... and now summer's pretty much over. What happened?

I Heart Faces... Beautiful Eyes

My daughter has amazingly beautiful blue eyes... has had them ever since she was born. I did not enhance her eyes specifically in any way in this photo! They are just bluer than blue in real life. :)

Lucky Me

You know what? I'm really really lucky. Blessed. I've had a quite a few friends in my life that are my friends forever... they're like sisters, family... the kind of girl that you know will do anything for you, and will be there for you, even when you're maybe going through a crappy stage.

This girl is one of those. You'd think that I might have to hate Tari a little bit, because she's so gorgeous... but she's as beautiful inside as she is on the outside, so now you know why I can't hate her. Ever. It's funny... with Tari sometimes I feel like the big sister (because I'm just a wee bit... or more... older than she is), but when it comes to lots of things... fashion, home decor, hair, makeup, shopping, and on and on... she's like my big sister. I don't know what I would've done without her over the past couple of years. I've told her things about myself that would make some people not want to be my friend ever again, but she just helps me through it all and gives me a better perspective. I love Tari. I am so so grateful that we're friends.

A Book That Made Me Think

I finished a book late last night... What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. It's been a long time since a book affected me like this one did. I've thought so much about it, even when I wasn't reading at the moment. I cried... okay, even sobbed a little bit. Basically, this woman hits her head, wakes up, and thinks she is 10 years younger and pregnant with her first child. The reality is that she has three children, she's getting a divorce, and her relationship with her sister is strained. She doesn't remember her children... they are strangers to her. She is deeply in love with her husband, and doesn't have any idea how they could be divorcing... anyway, I won't ruin it for anyone, because you might want to read it.

It got me thinking about myself 10 years ago, and what my 26 year old self would think of my life now. 10 years ago I had a little baby... my third. I lived in a sweet little town in Cache Valley, but moving to Idaho was on the horizon. I think there are some things that I would be pleasantly surprised about... wow, I'm a photographer? I run? I teach classes at the gym? Me? No way! I'm the YW president? But perfect people are YW presidents... so I must be perfect. (Ha!) I live in another cute old house? So fun! I'd be pleased that my relationship with Brandon has grown, and that I still love him more than anything. And my kids... I'd be shocked at how big they are, how grown up, how wonderful. I know I never really could picture that happening to me.

I'd be really disappointed in a lot of things too. I didn't learn how to keep a sparkly clean house? Darn it. There are people I love that we hardly speak to each other? How on earth would that happen? (Because back then I thought everyone liked me... why wouldn't they?) I would wonder how I became so cynical and guarded, and wonder how so many things I loved in life had lost their magic. I think I would be a little overwhelmed by my life now.

So, it got me thinking... about how I don't want to lose the good things about my younger self. I don't want to change in negative ways as I get older. Growth and change are good, but going backwards from who I really want to be isn't. I don't know how to fix some of the things that are sad about me now, but I want to... I'd want my 26 year old self to like who I am now in every way. Anyway, lots more to think about... I kind of wish I had written notes to my future self every decade or so. It would be interesting, and possibly depressing to read who I thought I would be. I guess I still could write those notes... and hope my 46 year old self is a lot better than my 36 year old self. :)

4th of July Weekend.... Camping!!

We had such a great camping trip... 4 days, 3 nights... it was wonderful! Aubrey had her friends Aubrey & Lindsey come the first night, and Tyler had Christian come with him the last night. We enjoyed every moment of peaceful, relaxing bliss. The boys fished... and fished... and fished... and woke up early to fish some more.

My runners feet. They're hideous... but happy.

The little flowers were so pretty... it was gorgeous up there at East Park... a little rainy each day, but that just made it all the more green.

What's a camping trip without a tire change?

I went for a wonderful hilly run... and an adventurous hike with Cooper.

And did I mention that the boys fished?

We ate, napped, read, relaxed, talked, smiled... and didn't want to come home.

Cooper loved wading with the wading boots... and Captain had the best time ever, hanging out with whoever he felt like, whenever he felt like it.

Brandon got to be out on his pontoon a couple of times... and that always makes him happy.

I can't wait until our next camping trip!