Our New Girl, Cedar

 We went to visit our horse, Cedar, tonight. She needs to move closer to us, but we're still waiting on word about a nearby pasture.

 She didn't seem very interested in getting her picture taken, but I think one of these days she'll get used to it... she'll have to with me around. Who knows... I might even get her to smile.  :)

We went for a little drive afterwards and watched a beautiful rainbow and then a breathtaking sunset.  Oh, how I wish we lived out in the country. At least now we know that dreams do come true... sometimes it just takes a very long time to get there. :)

Summer... Where Did You Go?

 I had so many plans... and now summer's pretty much over. What happened?

I Heart Faces... Beautiful Eyes

My daughter has amazingly beautiful blue eyes... has had them ever since she was born. I did not enhance her eyes specifically in any way in this photo! They are just bluer than blue in real life. :)

Lucky Me

You know what? I'm really really lucky. Blessed. I've had a quite a few friends in my life that are my friends forever... they're like sisters, family... the kind of girl that you know will do anything for you, and will be there for you, even when you're maybe going through a crappy stage.

This girl is one of those. You'd think that I might have to hate Tari a little bit, because she's so gorgeous... but she's as beautiful inside as she is on the outside, so now you know why I can't hate her. Ever. It's funny... with Tari sometimes I feel like the big sister (because I'm just a wee bit... or more... older than she is), but when it comes to lots of things... fashion, home decor, hair, makeup, shopping, and on and on... she's like my big sister. I don't know what I would've done without her over the past couple of years. I've told her things about myself that would make some people not want to be my friend ever again, but she just helps me through it all and gives me a better perspective. I love Tari. I am so so grateful that we're friends.

A Book That Made Me Think

I finished a book late last night... What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. It's been a long time since a book affected me like this one did. I've thought so much about it, even when I wasn't reading at the moment. I cried... okay, even sobbed a little bit. Basically, this woman hits her head, wakes up, and thinks she is 10 years younger and pregnant with her first child. The reality is that she has three children, she's getting a divorce, and her relationship with her sister is strained. She doesn't remember her children... they are strangers to her. She is deeply in love with her husband, and doesn't have any idea how they could be divorcing... anyway, I won't ruin it for anyone, because you might want to read it.

It got me thinking about myself 10 years ago, and what my 26 year old self would think of my life now. 10 years ago I had a little baby... my third. I lived in a sweet little town in Cache Valley, but moving to Idaho was on the horizon. I think there are some things that I would be pleasantly surprised about... wow, I'm a photographer? I run? I teach classes at the gym? Me? No way! I'm the YW president? But perfect people are YW presidents... so I must be perfect. (Ha!) I live in another cute old house? So fun! I'd be pleased that my relationship with Brandon has grown, and that I still love him more than anything. And my kids... I'd be shocked at how big they are, how grown up, how wonderful. I know I never really could picture that happening to me.

I'd be really disappointed in a lot of things too. I didn't learn how to keep a sparkly clean house? Darn it. There are people I love that we hardly speak to each other? How on earth would that happen? (Because back then I thought everyone liked me... why wouldn't they?) I would wonder how I became so cynical and guarded, and wonder how so many things I loved in life had lost their magic. I think I would be a little overwhelmed by my life now.

So, it got me thinking... about how I don't want to lose the good things about my younger self. I don't want to change in negative ways as I get older. Growth and change are good, but going backwards from who I really want to be isn't. I don't know how to fix some of the things that are sad about me now, but I want to... I'd want my 26 year old self to like who I am now in every way. Anyway, lots more to think about... I kind of wish I had written notes to my future self every decade or so. It would be interesting, and possibly depressing to read who I thought I would be. I guess I still could write those notes... and hope my 46 year old self is a lot better than my 36 year old self. :)

4th of July Weekend.... Camping!!

We had such a great camping trip... 4 days, 3 nights... it was wonderful! Aubrey had her friends Aubrey & Lindsey come the first night, and Tyler had Christian come with him the last night. We enjoyed every moment of peaceful, relaxing bliss. The boys fished... and fished... and fished... and woke up early to fish some more.

My runners feet. They're hideous... but happy.

The little flowers were so pretty... it was gorgeous up there at East Park... a little rainy each day, but that just made it all the more green.

What's a camping trip without a tire change?

I went for a wonderful hilly run... and an adventurous hike with Cooper.

And did I mention that the boys fished?

We ate, napped, read, relaxed, talked, smiled... and didn't want to come home.

Cooper loved wading with the wading boots... and Captain had the best time ever, hanging out with whoever he felt like, whenever he felt like it.

Brandon got to be out on his pontoon a couple of times... and that always makes him happy.

I can't wait until our next camping trip!

Oh, How They Grow

 Tonight I did some last minute "visiting teaching"... yes, I'm lame. Really really lame.

 I went to visit my friend, Sha... and I just couldn't get over how big her little Garrett is now.

 It seems like I took these yesterday... and now he's waving at me, and smiling so sweetly, and he's so grown up.

 I'll admit, I mauled his cheeks a little bit. They're so soft! Aubrey told me to stop touching his cheeks.

 Anyway, I'm glad I have good friends who have sweet cute babies, so I can touch their soft cheeks sometimes.

 Because my babies' cheeks aren't so soft or squishy anymore. :)

 Yes, this is picture overload, but they were all too cute, so I couldn't narrow it down.

 Thanks, Sha, for being such a great friend, and for printing the photos I take of your family and displaying them all over your home. I LOVE seeing that... it makes my day every time I come over.

 Oh, and tell Baby G to slow down a bit, will ya?  ;)

Temple Craft Project

I've been working on a temple photo for our camp craft... and aiming for dramatic. Here's what I have so far... any suggestions? Too moody?

Another One :)

http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/2011/06/your-funny-face-photos-group-1/


I have too many thoughts to even share anything today. I don't know how to say the stuff that is in my head... so I just thought I'd share a bright spot in my week... Pioneer Woman liked another one of my photos. :)

Going Back

 Last weekend I went back to Rigby/Idaho Falls for the first time since we moved away over 3 1/2 years ago. This sweet gorgeous girl wanted me to do her wedding photos, so it was the perfect excuse.

I scheduled a few other photoshoots while I was in the area... who knows when I'll be back up there again? I had to take advantage of every moment there. :)

 This grown up guy was one of my first violin students in Rigby. He was just a little kid then... and I taught him for almost 6 years. It was so much fun to see him all grown up and man-like. Oh, and it was weird too. How do all these kids get older when I don't? I don't get it.

 This family was in our ward when we were there... but they've grown since we lived there! Beautiful beautiful kids... I loved 'em!

 Annette and I went on a 12 mile run, and I loved it. The roads were so different from the roads I run on now... more narrow, less shoulder. I had forgotten. It felt so good to run my old roads again, and run with Annette again. It was so funny to be in her house, and look at my old house through her back windows. It's mostly just like we left it... our name is still on the mailbox. :) Annette and I stayed up late two nights in a row just talking, and it was so great. I miss living close to her so much. I'm really grateful we're still friends, and we can still keep in contact with each other, and still be comfortable even when we haven't seen each other since we ran a marathon together last September.

 Aubrey and I went to Coldstone twice. Yes, twice... want to make something of it? ;) We went to Target and the mall... and I got to go to Johnny Carinos with Annette and another dear friend I've kept in contact with, Annalee. I wish I could've seen more of my friends, but there just weren't enough hours. I miss Idaho Falls... it's pretty much the perfect city for shopping. It's got everything you need, but it's not too big.

 I never thought it would take me this long to go back to where we lived for so long... I thought we'd visit lots, but we haven't. Life just goes on. It was so good to see some old friends at the wedding luncheon, but the whole thing was all kind of a strange experience. I was there, where I had so many memories, in a place that had been home for so long...

...and I couldn't really remember who I was when I lived there.

Thoughts on Trust & Friendship

 I've been thinking a lot about trust in friendship lately... partly because of some things that have happened, and partly because sometimes I get something stuck in my head, and I can't stop thinking about it.

 Awhile ago a friend told me something in confidence... but what she didn't know is that somebody else had already told me what she told me. I didn't tell her, because who wants to know that other people know what you don't want them to know... but then I worried... what if she found out that other people know and thought that I was the one who told?

 Sometimes I find out that somebody knows something about me that I didn't tell them... and most of the time it's not anything important... but it makes me wonder what else people share about me, and it makes me wonder why, if they wanted to know things about me, they wouldn't just ask me themselves.

 And sometimes I share too much with people... people that I love and just want to be close to, and want to share the things that are deep in my heart... but then I worry later that I shared too much. That stuff might get shared with people I don't want it to be shared with, or that the person I said too much to will judge me harshly, or twist what I've said.

 Then I start worrying that I shouldn't share anything... that I should keep things more to myself... be more private.

But that makes me sad. It's a dilemma. I haven't thought through what the answer is... how do you find that balance between being yourself, and sharing yourself with others... and protecting yourself?

HELP NOW!!! PLease!!

If you haven't checked facebook, and don't know about this contest Aubrey is in... please go to facebook and help! The contest ends at 9:00 tonight.

Here's the story... the 2nd place person has stayed right behind Aubrey the whole time, but she has so many fishy people "liking" her comment... so we think she's cheating.

So, if you have a facebook account, every vote will help!!

Go to the active bands page: https://www.facebook.com/activebands and "like" that page.

Then go here: https://www.facebook.com/activebands/posts/220003278028791, find Aubrey's comment, and like it.


THANK YOU!!

Randomness... BECAUSE YOU MISS ME!!!

Admit it, you miss my random posts. Okay, don't admit it, but you know deep down inside that you love me.

This last weekend Nicole (my amazingly awesome first counselor) and I took 6 of our young women to Salt Lake. We did all of the downtown church things we could fit in... it was a whirlwind of craziness, and I only lost about 60% of my sanity, so I think that's pretty good, right? I loved listening to the girls talk about the bazillion brides we saw at the temple. I think they all planned to get married "tomorrow", but thank goodness all of those plans fell through. They've got time... lots of time.

Cooper PITCHED at his game! I was so proud of him! He struck two kids out (and walked some, but who's counting that?). I could tell he was so nervous, but he was also super cute. Brandon's out of town tonight, so I had to run back and forth between Cooper's game and Tyler's game. I missed Tyler getting on base, but he forgave me when he knew I was watching Cooper pitch.

I still never see Aubrey. She's done with track, and still finds things to keep her busy. I guess that's what I have to look forward to for the rest of her short time left at home. I like that girl... and wish I could see more of her. But wait... maybe I like her because I don't see her very often... hmmm...

Life is good, you know? So many things I love to do... so many people I love to be with... it's good. I'm sorry about my downer post on Sunday. Some days are like that. When I think about my aunt and uncle who live in Joplin and lost everything in the tornado (and their five daughters who no longer have their childhood home to go home to... and the devastation so many others are facing too), or my dear friend who is going through some of the toughest stuff ever and comments on my post that she is sorry things are hard for me, OR I plain old think about how amazingly, richly blessed I am... yeah. It happens... that wallowing, but I don't want to stay there. I visited, didn't like it, and came home. :)

Life

There are 4 things you cannot recover in life: 

the stone after it's thrown 

the word after it's said

the occasion after it's missed 

the time after it is gone

Perspective

 Yesterday was a hard day. I don't want to talk about it, and I surely don't want to repeat it. Things are looking better today... but I still feel this weight.

 After sobbing my life's worries out to Brandon, he said a lot of things that made me think. Hard. And as always, he was right. Then I started thinking about things from a different perspective. I realized almost every single thing I was so upset about could be dismissed with a laugh when looked at slightly differently...

 These are things that anybody would say, are you serious? Really? THAT happened? That's so awful! But then... when I looked at it through a different lens, it was funny, sad, no consequence... nothing.

 Not everything in life has that opposite side... that side where you can count it as no consequence. Some things just plain hurt, and are just plain hard. But I do think there are lots of things that just need to be looked at through a kinder lens.

Sigh. Still working through it all.

Reason #1,397 why I love him

Last night for Family Home Evening we played a game to see how much we knew about each other... it took forever, but I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

See, my husband is hilarious. He writes stuff that I only wish I could think of. For example, we wrote three things that we thought each person in the family wishes for (or wished for) in a future spouse.

I wrote boring stuff, like:
spiritual, smart, friend

Brandon wrote:
(for himself) Good Cook, Good Girl, Good Looking
(for me) Tall, Dark, Handsome
(for Aubrey) Someone cool like her dad, someone funny like her dad, someone good looking like her dad
(for Tyler) Good Cook, Good Dancer, Good Singer
(for Cooper) Cowgirl, Hunter, Pretty like Mom

and then... the thing that made me laugh so hard I cried... we had to write what book we think each person would write if they wrote a book. For Aubrey he said:

What I Wish I Would Have Learned in 1st Grade

That might not seem so clever or funny... unless you know that Aubrey skipped 1st grade.


And just so you know that he's not perfect, this is what Tyler said that Brandon's commonly used phrase is:

**** it tyler


I love you, Brandon. :)

I Heart Faces... Motherhood

Don't forget to go over to i heart faces to see more beautiful motherhood photos.