I've been thinking a lot about trust in friendship lately... partly because of some things that have happened, and partly because sometimes I get something stuck in my head, and I can't stop thinking about it.
Awhile ago a friend told me something in confidence... but what she didn't know is that somebody else had already told me what she told me. I didn't tell her, because who wants to know that other people know what you don't want them to know... but then I worried... what if she found out that other people know and thought that I was the one who told?
Sometimes I find out that somebody knows something about me that I didn't tell them... and most of the time it's not anything important... but it makes me wonder what else people share about me, and it makes me wonder why, if they wanted to know things about me, they wouldn't just ask me themselves.
And sometimes I share too much with people... people that I love and just want to be close to, and want to share the things that are deep in my heart... but then I worry later that I shared too much. That stuff might get shared with people I don't want it to be shared with, or that the person I said too much to will judge me harshly, or twist what I've said.
Then I start worrying that I shouldn't share anything... that I should keep things more to myself... be more private.
But that makes me sad. It's a dilemma. I haven't thought through what the answer is... how do you find that balance between being yourself, and sharing yourself with others... and protecting yourself?
8 comments:
TOTALLY know what you mean...and have wondered that very same question. I think it's hard, because so often it is done in such innocence...and often we do the very thing ourselves...without knowing. It's a hard place to be. A hard thing to fix. And I wish, TRULY WISH I had the answer...
My thoughts exactly! I've been thinking the same things. Sometimes I think I share too much. Other times I realize people are upset at me and I wonder what I did! Then I wonder if they heard something from someone else that may not be the truth... Gossip is evil. It's all a big mess! *sigh*
Just let it all out there! That's what I alway say. :) love ya
It's like you read my mind and then typed it all out. Love you girlie.
it's like janice up there read my mind and then typed it all out....i love you too! and i love that you tell me things, because i know i can tell you things too.;D
I think that same thing a lot, it's a hard balance to find. I have decided that unless it's about me directly I don't say anything about anyone else, even family. I just like to be safe and make sure I don't say anything that could hurt anyone or ruin the trust they have in me.
You're such a cool lady! I struggle with the same thing. I bounce back and forth, open/close/open...There is a song by Lifehouse (Broken) that I love. There's a line in there that reminds me of me, "I try my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead." I can tell you're a deep thinker, probably because you're an Aquarius! ;-) I've read that we need lots of sleep/rest because of our deep thoughts.
I share your dilemna. It seems like an unsolvable problem and I don't love it.
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