I've been the yw president (youth leader for the girls in my church) for over a year and a half now, and I feel SO uncool... in other places where I've been a leader I've felt like they liked me, they wanted to be with me, and I had great connections. In this ward? Not so much... seriously, they'll do anything to avoid riding in a car with me. If I sit by them, they move. If I ask about their lives, I get one word grunts. They're good girls, they're nice, they're sweet, I love them... but I feel like I have leprosy or something.
Here's the scary thing... my Silver Sneakers class (the oldy-goldy fitness class I teach) LOVES me. They laugh at my jokes, they give me hugs, they tell me all about their lives, they CLAP for me at the end of class for pete's sake.
So, am I just plain old getting OLD? Am I just too old to be "cool" anymore? I'm so old that I relate better to people twice my age than people half my age? I'm serious here... I need help! I want to reach these girls who I work with, and I want them to know I care, but I also don't want to bother them with my uncoolness. So, any ideas? Please?
11 comments:
35? That's all you are? I thought we were closer in age (not that I'm THAT much older than you), and I was really jealous at how much younger you looked than me, and I guess this explains it.
I remember when I was in YW's as a girl, and it seemed like any leader above about 30 was ancient, I just couldn't relate to them at all. I was always more attached to my younger leaders. And now that I have a YW, and I'm a leader, I feel like they treat me like I'm just Arilee's mom, I'm not a cool leader... so maybe that's why? I don't know.
You'll just have to accept the fact that you're pretty much a grandma. I've realized that I really don't relate to the young kids anymore, and that's okay. They're kinda silly.
I like the look of your blog, though! Owls are cool.
Mindy, I think you are as "cool" as they come.
And I wouldn't sweat the YW too much...I'm only 25 and already uncool with my Mia Maids. Just be yourself. Even if they don't show it, I'm sure its refreshing for them to see someone not care about "coolness" after spending all of their days locked up in a Jr./High School. That's what I keep telling myself anyway!
I had a yw leader once who thought we didn't really like her so she asked us about it. After that we all tried harder to be a little nicer and it gave an opening for one of the girls to tell the leader something she had done that had hurt the girls feelings. After that everything was great so I would just ask them at one of the activities.
I think the YW/YM age is just hard. I would much rather be in Primary. :)
I think that consistency is the best thing you can offer. Maybe give them the chance to plan activities they think are cool. With in reason of course.
You are not old!! I'm 37 and a middle school teacher. What I have learned is that if you take yourself too seriously and go out of your way to be their friend they will run. Be funny, be goofy without caring what they think, be aloof even, but still be caring and hold them to your standards. That way, they don't feel like you are smothering them, but they know you are there for them. I have girls that I coached who are graduating from college and still come to see me because I wasn't worried about being their friend, but more about affecting their lives. And now they are my friends. It works out.
I don't think I ever saw you wear a mini skirt, halter top, you never talked about your boyfriend or the latest thing that Taylor Lautner was doing-and you wonder why they don't think are cool?;) Ha ha! You know how I feel about it, love em, but there are some challenges. Maybe if you flat out aired the dirty laundry, or if you didn't do it face to face, maybe a note. Ask the girls what they would like to see from the leaders. I think that is probably the only tactic that we never tried. I really don't have any answers...
No offense, but I think that's what rural Utah youth are like...It's not you, sista. I'm tellin' ya!
I agree with everyone, its not you, its the YW. Being a leader myself, I feel old and uncool. But I do share common interests with some of them, so it does make it a little easier. But I would talk to them and ask them their opinions on the YW program, the activities, and the leaders.
And of course there is always prayer.
Well, I think you're cool. And wish you were my YW leader. As a yw, the only advice I have is this: don't try to make friends. Small talk is gross. Avoid it like the plague. Just be a good leader and a good listener. They'll come around. Heart you! :)
I've always been able to talk to older people easier, even when I was younger. Who's respect would you rather have? Older, wiser people who know the world, or young, obnoxious idiots? (no offense to the idiots)
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