Stuff and Stuff

The last day of school... that certainly went by fast.  I think I just got whiplash watching that year go by.  I'm actually kind of sort of looking forward to this summer.  If I can keep them fed, we'll all be great.

I'm really really grateful for my family and friends who love me.  Sometimes when I think I'm pretty darn unloveable, someone says something so sweet to me, or does something so nice for me, that I think I can't be all that bad.

And this guy?  He's the best of them all.  He knows every fault of mine, yet he still adores me.  I love him with all of my heart.

There's a place I photograph sessions at sometimes, and I took the owners some bread the other day.  She invited me into her lovely house, gave me a complete tour, and inspired me so much.  I want to be that gracious.  I'm going to work on it.

Along with the million other things that I need to work on.  Thank goodness I have a lifetime.

I Heart Faces... Yellow

Same darling girl as I posted the last challenge... but how could I pass up the yellow bus??

Check out some more yellow here:

Undisappointed

The principal is working on things... Tyler says things are getting better.

SO many dear friends and family donated to my Relay for Life fund... you came through in a big way.

Some days it feels like so many things are going wrong, and the very next day that can completely turn around. I love that... it makes life exciting, and helps me know that everything will be better eventually.

Plus, I've got three fun shoots to edit, and another one to take tomorrow. Yes, life is wonderful.

p.s. I'm so embarrassed about my tush... so many comments about it. I'm such a dork.

There You Go... Hurry Before I Get Too Embarrassed and Erase It

Sorry it's sideways. I'm fun like that.

Life is Good

If you did this every morning, how could you have a bad day?  Seriously?  I'm going to do it.  Thanks for the "Daily Affirmation" inspiration, little Jessica.

Disappointment

I don't have much time to write this, so I hope I make sense and I don't say anything offensive... but I have to get my frustration out so I can quit thinking about it.

Disappointment #1:  The school system. Bullies. I am so sad for Tyler, and so disappointed in the way that things have gone that I could cry.  I have no illusions that my son is blameless or perfect... not at all, but imagine this: You are a 12 year old boy.  You leave the classroom to get a drink, and when you come back, two of your papers (one an assignment, one a drawing you had been working on for your little brother) are crumpled.  You find out who did it.  You go crumple a piece of paper on his desk.  You get in a little tussle, back off and it's over.  You think.  Then, at lunchtime a kid you don't really know tells you that someone wants to talk to you.  You go to the spot he says and he tells you he'll be right back.  You honestly think that some kid just wants to talk to you. Then this paper crumpling kid comes and starts punching you.  You tell yourself if you don't punch back... if you just let him hit you, that you won't get in trouble.  So you stand there, and take punches to your face, and hope that it will be over soon, and you won't get in trouble.  As the fight goes on, you start trying to fend off the punches, and at the end finally do punch once or twice before you can get away.  Someone records the end of this fight on their cell phone.  You go to the principal's office, you see the video someone took, which is the end part where you were a little more aggressive, because you didn't see the end in sight of being the punching bag for this kid.  You get suspended from school.  You have bruises on your face.  Your mom isn't happy with you, and makes you do a lot of chores around the house which you quietly and humbly do.  When your mom finds out the whole story, she calls and talks to the principal, and is told that the other kids have gotten more punishment and decides to let it go.  You go back to school on Monday.  You find out the other kid didn't get suspended any longer than you did... he's there.  People tease you all day because you "got beat up" and didn't fight back.  Two kids (including the one who beat you up) tell you that they got another recording of the fight and they "can't wait to see you get beat up on youtube".  Your dad and mom tell you if that kid hits you again to beat the shit out of him, because apparently you get suspended either way.  You don't want to fight.  You resist this counsel from your parents, because you don't want to fight or get in trouble.

Pretty sucky, isn't it??  Yeah, I think so.  And this isn't all that he has endured.  He has tried SO hard the entire year to not get in trouble, and he has succeeded so far.  He, a boy who loves sports, was relieved when the semester with PE in it was over, because he had to endure harassment in the locker room every single day.  When he finally went to the principal to get relief, they said they'd "take care of it", but nothing changed.  I know it has been an effort for him to stay out of trouble, and he was devastated that he made it this far, only to get suspended.  Brandon talked to the principal again today, and still met with a wall.  We have no way to fix this, and no way to help our son.  I realize that it's hard for administration to know exactly what is going on, and hard to know how to make every punishment fair, but there has to be a better way.  There has to.

Disappointment #2:  When Aubrey and I signed up to do the Relay for Life I thought it would be a piece of cake to raise the $200 we pledged to raise together.  I naively thought that I have so much family, so many friends, so many people that would donate a little bit of money that it would add right up, and I'd probably even have more than I needed!  I thought between my facebook announcements, blog requests, and emails that I'd surely have donations pouring in.  Now, please know, I know that not everyone CAN donate, and I understand.  I'm not upset at any individual person, just disappointed in the experience as a whole.  I don't know everyone's circumstances, and I didn't expect that everyone would donate.  I did expect more response than I got, though.  My biggest donation was from an online friend whom I have never met.  Then I got one from an online friend I briefly met once, a local friend, and my college brother.  That's it.  I'm sure everyone thought that everyone else would donate, and I'm sure that some of you just can't afford to donate even $5 right now...  Well, I better just stop.  (edited to add: I didn't realize that the website had a $10 minimum donation, and I know that's more than some people can swing right now.  If you really want to donate $5, or $1, contact me about raffle tickets, or donate directly to me.  I'm sorry that I didn't realize that minimum donation thing.)  I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I just wanted to express my surprise and disappointment.  I don't know why I feel this great need to do these fundraising efforts for cancer lately, but the only way I can describe it is that I am compelled to do it.  I MUST do it.  Honestly, I have enough on my plate right now that I do not need to add fundraising and all night walks and photo shoot marathons to my plate, but I MUST.  Anyway, I'm sorry I'm a pest.  I'm sure I'll be able to find other ways to raise the money Aubrey and I need.  And I VERY MUCH appreciate the donations that we have received.  Thank you.

Well, this post is a downer.  I'm sorry.  Tomorrow will be better.

I Heart Faces... Faces & Flowers

In Memory of Brittney

In September of 2009, Brandon's cousin Brittney Drakulich lost her battle with cancer, and the world lost an amazing, beautiful, kind, loving woman.  I admired Brittney's optimism and courage throughout her fight... she was incredible.  On June 4th and 5th, Aubrey and I are going to participate in the Relay for Life in honor of Britt, and the amazing mom, wife, daughter, cousin, sister, and friend that she is.

We have set the goal to raise $100 each, but hope to raise even more for the fight against cancer.  There are lots of ways to help, and we'd appreciate every little bit!

1.  Go to my page and click the donate button... and donate away!  Even $1 would help us reach our goal!

2.  Purchase a luminaria to honor someone who has lost their life to cancer, or who has survived cancer.  This is a really neat tribute... each luminaria is decorated for an individual, and they light them at night as a beacon of hope and love.  Go to my page and order one, or let me know and I will decorate one for you in honor of your loved one.  There can be more than one for a single person... I'd love to see a row of luminarias for Brittney.  :)

3.  Purchase raffle tickets. Each ticket is $1, or 6 tickets for $5.  There are lots of great prizes you can win, and you choose which prize you're interested in when you buy the ticket(s).  The prizes are:

3 month membership to Curves

1 month free lessons and uniform to keep from Unbroken Circle

Tickets for a family of four to a Salt Lake Bees Game

3 free days of Handy Man Service from K&W Handy Service

Tires and Rims from Dan's Tire

1 Adult and 1 Kids punch pass to Vernal's Rec Center

8x10 autographed photo of Kyle Korver, jersey and basketball

8x10 autographed photo of Andrei Kirilenko, jersey, and basketball

Flaming Gorge Lodge overnight stay with dinner, breakfast, and raft rental

Years supply of milk from Meadow Gold 

Just let me know if you're interested in purchasing raffle tickets for anything, you can send me the money, and I'll get you in the drawing for what you want.

I know everyone gets asked for money for everything, but cancer has affected SO many people that I love, and I want to help in any way that I can.  Aubrey and I will be walking through the night to represent our fight against cancer... a disease that never sleeps.  If every one of my friends and family will donate just a little bit, it will add up to a lot to help in the fight.  Love you all!

I Heart Faces... Celebrating Mom

It was SO hard to choose which image to enter this week... I love that connection between a mom and her child.  I finally settled on this one... because it says everything about how a little boy feels about his mom.  Safe. Love. Happy. Content.

Go check out some more mom photos over at i heart faces!

On Being a Mom

The longer I'm a mom, the more I appreciate the moms in my life.  It's not an easy job... it's often thankless, it's messy, it's neverending, and no matter how hard you try you're bound to mess up more often than not.

I think most moms feel that they fail to some extent, but from the outside we can always see the good.  I've talked to my mom often about this, and she has expressed regrets about the way she mothered sometimes.  She was amazing, though.  She taught us to love classical music, and art.  She taught us that we always must do the right thing, and to love the Lord.  She served vegetables with every dinner.  She kept an amazingly clean house with five hoodlums working against her at every turn.

My other mom, Lynda, worries when things don't go exactly as they should, and thinks that it's her fault.  But, she's one of the most wonderful women I know... she cares deeply about every child she has, those that were born to her, and those that she embraced when her kids married them.  She makes special efforts to let us know she's thinking of us, and that she loves us.  She raised wonderful kids, and had astounding patience with one of her sons, which I am grateful for... he turned out to be the wonderful man that I married.

I beat myself up the same way.  I am way too impatient with my kids, and often find myself not listening to them when they're talking to me.  (My mind wanders...)  The house is rarely clean, I haven't taught them all the things I should have, I often miss getting vegetables served with a dinner.  I could go on and on... probably a longer list than most moms could make, but you get the idea.  Yet....

Yesterday Brandon and my kids adopted a dog.  I'm not a dog person, but I love my kids and I want them to be able to look back on their childhood and have memories of loving a pet.  I go to every one of their baseball and softball games that I possibly can go to.  I sit there shivering, wrapped in a blanket with rain coming down, or the wind blowing me over, but I'm there.  I watch through the whole game, even though they lose almost every time.  I want them to know that I care about what they're doing, and I don't care if their team wins, or if they play perfectly.  I go to church with my kids every single week.  The weeks that Brandon works are hard... I don't like to go alone, but I know that this is something that will stick with them their whole lives, just as it has with me and with Brandon... because our parents taught us.

So, here's my challenge to all of you mothers.  Today, on the day celebrating motherhood, think of the good things that you do.  Think of the little successes that you have... and write one of them in the comment section for me, will you?  Mothers Day isn't about celebrating perfection.

A Little Bit of Me

I saw this on my friend Melanie's blog awhile ago and thought it looked like fun... and since I'm not in the mood to do anything meaningful today, I thought I'd give it a whirl.

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments. What is it?
1. Produce: Spinach
2. Bakery: Chocolate Cake
3. Meat: Chicken
4. Frozen: Mint Brownie ice cream
5. Dairy: 1% milk

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?
1. my favorite jeans
2. sweatshirt
3. running shoes

If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 4 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. whatever
2. do I need to get the soap?
3. stop it!!!
4. love your buttons

So, what 4 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?
1. checking my computer stuff
2. exercise/run
3. see Brandon
4. dishes (I've not been in the best mood lately...)

You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
1. someone driving super slow
2. someone being clueless
3. I'm late getting somewhere

Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. reading
2. running
3. blogging
4. cleaning
5. napping

We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. giraffes
2. polar bears
3. monkeys

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on TV of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
1. Glee (I know... guilty pleasure)
2. Diners, Drive-ins and Dives ('cause then I could taste what he's tasting)
3. Amazing Race ('cause then I'd be traveling where they're traveling)
4. Ummmmm... I'm blank


You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. mint brownie
2. thin mint chocolate ice cream
3. aggie chocolate english

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. cell phone
2. keys
3. receipts
4. glasses case
5. chapstick

You are at a job fair, and asked in what areas you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. photographer
2. nurse
3. fiddle player in a famous band
4. personal trainer






Okay, now go do this on your own blogs.  Let me know so I can read your answers.  :)

Need a Laugh Today??

You have to go look at the "then and now" entries. I think it would be hilarious to do this with some of our old childhood photos. I'll have to recreate some sometime (like this one) when we're all together and feeling a little crazy. Make sure you click on Photos by Karyn, Yuki, and Spaghetti Love... I'm still laughing about that one.